Your 2023 horoscope

Aries

Do you know that feeling
that your dream is not coming true
Do you ever worry that
it will always stay that way?
(s10 – de diepte)

Mars is going retrograde in the beginning of the year. That’s your mother planet, so it might all feel like a false start. Use this first month to put everything in order, and do not fear to speak out loud what it is you need. You’re allowed to make demands, because you have so much to give. Because Jupiter is making you prettier than ever, romance will be overflowing come Spring. They not necessarily need to be new relations, yes plural, it can also mean you blow new air into old friends, on your terms. Not just enthousiasme, but a bit more of realism.

Once the summer arrives, take time to tighten your sails. You will have had enough of introspection to be ready for gale force 10 once September arrives. Let’s make this shit happen. Never forget anymore, that your lacking and frustrations really sprout from you own frustrated desires, which cannot be fixed by blindly chasing anything. Eyes wide open, corners of your mouth turned up and let’s go.

Taurus

You abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
(rose royce – love don’t live here anymore)

Quite the year is coming Taurus. Please, don’t lose your control reading the triggering lyrics above. I know it can work like a red flag for you, disturbing your peace of mind. At the same time, the best advise for this year is self control and understanding your triggers to the fullest. And the paradox lies in the fact that your authentic self does have this steamy episode in its character. Not often, but when it happens, it’s dust everywhere. Venus your ruler goes retrograde quite a while in the Leo and you  also get a dose of lunar eclipse in your stars.

Most likely, it’s time to evaluate your relations and decide what is real and what is fake. Focus your energy actively on the real relations and find out what they need to become fulfilling.  The fake ones can be terminated and sometimes best with an active attitude. The real ones can be fixed with all the TLC that determine you. And that is a lot! Take control and make sure you’re the one holding the red flag. Don’t played.

Gemini

I don’t need a thrill to make me feel
What I already am, pretty woman, baby
I just want something real when it all goes down, yeah, yeah
(is it love you’re after – rose royce)

Profound, exciting, thrilling. Quite the countdown this year to get this missile up in the air. Many retrogrades with Mercury and a big one still in Mars in your sign. It could already be explosive, and energy to conquer the world. And some other planets. They see you do it, and they have no clue how you do it and what substance you use to keep this manifesting. Perhaps some want a bit of your secret potion. Making you ever so attractive to many. But is it you they want, or just the recipe of your success potion?

Now here’s my secret potion for you: do you just enjoy this attention and sexy aura it gives you, or are you fooling yourself? In the long run, real love quickly flies away once the recipe is clear. There is this perfect soul companion though amongst your admirers. Maybe not the richest and prettiest right now, but the realest and the one that has the recipe to make you happy. Just the way you are. And your friends will support you, it might even be one of your friends that knows how to boil this soup.

Cancer

No more empty self possession,
Visions swept under the mat.
It’s no New Years resolution,
It’s more than that.
(message to my girl – split enz)

Our moon child has some love lunapark coming up. Start on the conveyor belt to go up, then run through a barrel and climb up the vibrating stairs while the floor is moving under your feet. There will be lunar eclipses in your fellow water sign Scorpio on the cinco de mayo in your cinco de casa. That’s the house that rules the pleasure principle. Nobody needs to teach you anything about pleasure, as you can be quite the casanova or diva. And you know what brings you pleasure. But do you know if the pleasure bringer is a force of stability in your lunar world?

The happier you feel, the more money you make. The coins bring you pleasure as well. It reflects your self esteem. Now here is the battle you can win: to get some real progress and love and stability, you need to understand the self esteem comes from the love life, and the funny little extras can be bought with the pecunia. That’s the right order. With a confirmed lover, your earning power will be enormous, starting from the Leo season. 

Leo

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key
(with a little help from my friends – joe cocker)

Nobody ever saw a Leo doubt itself. And maybe nobody ever will see it. The Leo is no little baby and nobody should tell them how the world turns. Some Leos even believe they actually make the world turn, which is not strange knowing the Sun is their ruler. If the Sun stops shining we would actually have climate change to worry about. Right now. This does not mean that the Leo does not love this world, on the contrary, for many Leos heaven can wait. One of the things Leo likes this earth for is all those cute and sexy inhabitants. So many men, so little time is another song they like to sing. And ahem dance too. A perfect beat for some thrilling action.

This year Mars is getting you all fired up and we just gave you some ideas on where to put that energy. It can of course also be use to go to war and burn the planet. This is where you need to take the course: Yes, I can trust real friends. That is not a childish thing to do, it is the most mature belief system. Know whom to trust and then take their advice, so your energy gets directed towards love and lovely money making. Otherwise you will end up in battles, and nobody ever won those.

Virgo

Thinking of a master plan
‘Cause ain’t nothing but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper, but still coming up with lint
So I… start my mission, leave my residence
(paid in full – eric b. and rakim)

You are always following a master plan. Only from such plans you come up with spontaneous actions. The plan sometimes gets adjusted, rather tweaked, but stability is the golden rule in your plan. That’s also the only way to deal with shares, think long term and don’t get harassed by crazy happenings and fads. You know what you want, and you know that you cannot get it now. But you will get it. So we cannot promise you that there is cash or rather CBDC in your stars. Knowing you like to keep a veil in front of your face, to not be too exposed, the CBDC might rather give you eczema. Nobody needs to control you.

Though once the Virgo season starts, some magic might arrive. A magic Mike or Mandy. Taking your breath away and it could even be related to some rather serious business. Well have you ever? Not sure all your friends appreciate what they see happening, but if you have the idea that this is part of your masterplan, or this is the missing piece in your puzzle, it is worth taking the dive. We didn’t say this year would be boring for you.

Libra

I got my beach bag full of all the necessary items for a day in the sun
And of course it wouldn’t be like me if I didn’t bring along
Some sunglasses
To hide behind.
(sunglasses – tracy ullman)

A year full of friendship and some necessary new health routines is coming up. You didn’t know that already? According to the stars you already made a list of things you want to change and improve. This is the year you will get busy and make it happen. Last year thought you that health is quite a thingy and you realized that you can have a big impact on it. Take off your sunglasses and look in the mirror. Is this the best you can be, or you think there’s more in that bottle of expensive humanness? Around August your year gets the most curvy ride. Venus your ruler retrogrades in Leo and that is not the time to change your looks or do surgery.

Later that month warrior and action planet Mars jumps on your scales and you will feel the force. So much will be happening that you did not foresee. Expect many new friends, and know they will mingle marvelously with your existing friends. It could even mean a real new FWB once Venus goes direct again, pleasing your Mars position. You no longer need to hide, just use some protection.

Scorpio

No place for beginners or sensitive hearts
When sentiment is left to chance
No place to be ending but somewhere to start
(smooth operator – sade)

A pivotal year for our land and sea sign the Scorpio. The year starts with Mars in retrograde and you in a mellow mode. Such a pleasure to see the scorpion not in a, maybe forced, role as sexual predator, but rather in a classy sensual role. Of course, we’re exaggerating here, but the point is clear. You normally are more attracted to endings and outcomes. Some say eye on the prize. But this could be the year to focus on new beginnings. If you are not in touch with that vibe, let us warn you that the eclipses this year will be starring you. So the universe will make you spin. The trick is to let it flow and not use your needle to start injecting your anger or frustrations into others.

Relax, enjoy the ride and accept what is coming. Your power and attraction will increase meticulously if you show you also master the art of sensuality and wisdom. It’s the biggest chance you will get to success. Bigger than any determination you may have shown in the past. It’s not your action, but how you deal with what’s coming your way. The soft power is the way to go. Now dance.

Sagittarius

I’m looking for a partner
Someone who gets things fixed
Ask yourself this question
Do you want to be rich?
(opportunities – pet shop boys)

That’s what friends are for could also be a great tune for you this year. They might sing it to you, to keep shining. The question is though, are you aware that you actually have a lot of meaningful friends that will never let you down? Sometimes your life is like a hurricane where you are not in the eye, but rather flying around from flower to flower, from mansion to villa. It gets a bit restless sometimes, though it feels very entertaining. Now this year the trick is, to step out of this whirlwind and stand in the middle.

What is going on around you? In this chaos of life, you will see the opportunities to make a nice living or start a business perhaps. Most likely not alone as a good friend might be your missing link. Hopefully a friend with a slower mind and firm hand. Someone who does not react to many impulses but honors your energy and vibrations. There’s a lot of potential. Also other friends, most likely more important than your family, might be great supporters and help for you, to accomplish a dream. Let’s do this!

Capricorn

Yeah, I can see it now
The distant red neon shivered in the heat
I was feeling like a stranger in a strange land
You know, where people play games with the night
(somewhere down the crazy river – robbie robertson)

Who rules the world? Who is the most ambitious in the world? The later might make you the ruler in the long run. You’re an earth sign, the earthiest there is. This year Saturn will move into Pisces for a couple of years, and that is your ruler. Now here is the visual: the capricorn is often pictured with the tail of a mermaid. So you do know how to swim, you even enjoy it to really go down in your emotions. Often this gets triggered by others, or rather the other. The dreamy and sensual Pisces will definitely trigger vibrations in your deepest soul, longings for escapades that you kept well hidden but that make you feel alive.

This year when this slow moving ruling planet goes backward, as seen from this earth, you have the opportunity to drop some bad habit, or more. If you try to resist or pretend it’s not happening, the hammer will hit you hard. But my feeling is, that you cannot resist the urge to drop it and get some hot coco in return. It’s as intimate as we dare to go here, but once the step forward is made and the ballast is gone, the golden days will be within reach. Keeping it a bit vague, on purpose, so you get the idea what the year will feel like. 

Aquarius

Rebel, rebel, you’ve torn your dress
Rebel, rebel, your face is a mess
(David Bowie- Rebel Rebel)

You’ve been so busy helping others and inspiring others and doing things for the greater good, you lost yourself. As everyone, you need balance and your scales are off. I know you feel best when you see others happy, especially if you contributed to that. And that is probably your most pretty feature. But to make it a bit darker: if you really look deep inside yourself, altruism can be a selfish act too. You have no time to deal with your own little you. This year your ego will demand attention and will scream louder and louder if you refuse to give it.

Lessons learned at the end of this year: helping others is fine, but it’s not automatically reciprocal. This does not mean that you should never make your donation to the world at large again, but that you should at least give more time and attention to yourself. To start the year of correctly: buy some new fashion, that only you dare to wear and get a new moisturizer and some sparkle lip gloss. You will be surprised how others all of a sudden notice you are actually a damn attractive person. Ooh lalalalala.

Pisces

I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain’t it sad?
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That’s too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn’t have to work at all, I’d fool around and have a ball
(abba – money money)

Let’s talk about sex, pisces, let’s talk about you and me. Or you have no time to talk about sex, as you are too busy making money? You probably are the wisest, and most hypersensitive, of all the signs. So I think you can handle this advise: you need to talk about both. Do not wait for the other to start the topic, you should start it right on. Right after your fireworks, kickstart this year. Love is looking great, but the precondition is that it needs a solid base. And in your case that most likely is financial fairness and stability. Otherwise there will be no sex, or just bad sex. Hahaha, too confrontational? Good, then we got our point across.

You need to really penetrate the other and make sure you have a profound talk. They need to see you, and you have to make sure you follow through. With Jupiter in your house of money, it will come in, and with Saturn in your sign next to Neptune for the next years, you have to show that you mean what you say and say what you mean. Otherwise all the coins and pleasure will fade away. Make it last!